my little rabbit Wee Noog Gruggles who i referred to largely as ‘little bun’ had to be put to sleep yesterday.
he was almost 8, and he was pretty tired, and had a few complicated things wrong with him, and with discussion with his vets (who he’s been seeing since he was a TINY kitten), we decided it was the right thing to do for him.
he slept in my bed for awhile, before he started pooping in it (many of you knew this story). he loved ripping up newspaper with his front legs and teeth. he liked hopping around slowly, and eating dead leaves in the park because grass confused him. he was never particularly robust – i always joked that he was Just Like Me, because lots of things that should have killed him didn’t. but he kept trucking on, despite the abscess, the endless respiratory infections, the flystrike, and the calcified bladder.
he liked head pats and grooming people on their arms enthusiastically. he would happily lie on his back for cuddles. he was probably the most relaxed rabbit i’ve ever encountered – particularly from a backyard bred cashmere lop. he had the longest, silliest hair, and funny little ears, and always seemed a bit confused. he liked parsley, and strawberries, and kale, and straw, but was never heaps into food.
i miss seeing his little face when i wake up in the morning, when i come home, before i go to bed at night, when i’m hanging out around the apartment. i miss his weird aggression when you tried to take stuff out of his cage. i miss his weird little snuffling sounds, and his fuzzy hair. i also know i made the right decision. he had this pinecone for several years that he’d carry around in his mouth. goddamn he loved that pinecone. he had a little treat ball too – no interest in the treats, but he’d throw the ball around, and put it in his food bowl, and take it out. he’d do weird things, like eat plastic, or try and eat cat food. no cat food, little bun! it’s not food for you!
people might think i’m dotty for being this attached to a rabbit. for getting him vaccinated on time, for having surgery for his abscess, for the time we had to give him fluids through a drip for a few weeks, for the fact i took him for walks when he was younger. people make stupid jokes about eating pet rabbits, or are kinda dismissive of them, like they are not a cat or a dog. i lived with this little guy in my bedroom for two years. he got me through breakups, and breakdowns, and severe depressions, and psychotic breaks. he was there with me through all of that, his sweet face, his insistent desire for head pats, his little groomies when you patted him and he would pat you, the hours i’d spend brushing his long coat, and the fact that a lot of other people got to spend time with him and love him too. he was a special fella.
i always worried i wasn’t a good enough rabbit owner. that i didn’t play with them enough, that i stopped taking them out for walks, that i didn’t take them to the vet in time. big bun is 8 years old next month, and STRONG LIKE OX. little bun was always the frail one, the delicate one, the gentle little sweetheart. but the vets told me i was good, that i did good, and that i let him go at the right time.
sleep well, little dude. he was one of my best friends.