Day 1. Round 2 chemo. feel less crap than last time, which is good given i didn’t even feel that crap last time. i think they caved and gave me Normal People Steroids. oncologist suggested cutting them altogether due to my lack of nausea. i am really down with this lack of nausea thing i’ve got going here, so i politely requested i keep them.
then walking out of the building, i tripped over, skinned my knee, and had to get straight back in for them to disinfect and put a bandage on a tiny, tiny cut. thanks, lowish neutrophil count!!!! it was indeed a walk of shame as all of my fellow chemo getting warriors looked on at me with combined amusement and empathy for my having to go back for my little boo-boo. i wish i got a cute childish band-aide to match. now my jeans are cytotoxic. soz jeans. i am detoxifying them as we speak. first day of chemo. not that bad. but walking is hard. i’m now hooked on on the two day slow release chemo which is in the baby bottle that has a condom like object inside it.
AND!!!! alex’s mum had bought us a trip to tasmania. pre-cancer. doctor has Just approved me to go. i’m getting some fashion forward surgical stockings for general (at home and plane) use to help in the Fight Against Blood Clots. the combination of excess bleeding and risk of blood clots is both confusing and almost funny. i will possibly also take a fashion forward face mask for the plane, and call qantas to ask the best place to sit for minimum terrible disease gathering within plane.
and best of all, i got to come home and spend the night in our own bed, with the cats, the rabbits, my stuff, my air, silence, no beeping machines coming from all around me, etc. i’m back in the day ward on wednesday for my fortnightly bag-o-blood. great oncologist moment – nurse asked him if i needed one bag or two, he looked at me, he shrugged, and said ‘i dunno…’ i’m not seriously anaemic, so it’s just to Keep My Strength Up. apparently blood transfusions don’t last that long, so if they are just aiming to keep it at my good ol fashion regular ‘almost anaemic’ level, it’s all good. i’m more concerned about the lowish neutrophil count. no one get sick. if you’re sick, don’t come near me. if you have been near someone who is sick that you are aware is sick, don’t come near me. seriously, if you do and i end up in isolation for a week with acute neutropenia because you forgot to mention your cold, i will be seriously, seriously angry. neutropenia can be deadly, and is at best, a major setback for treatment. i need my liver out in a few months. i cannot, cannot, cannot afford to get an infection or a virus. (thus why i am swabbing stupid tiny graze with swabs every day). i want this done as close to the timeline as possible, because this is several years of hell, and trust me, a month feels like a very long time in this situation.
my hair is now coming out in clumps. i have two wigs being prepped by an amazing hairdresser friend – i’ll check with her to make sure it’s ok to pimp her on my blog, and add a link to her website. she is easily the best hairdresser i’ve EVER seen in my life, and having had a lifetime of experimental hair fun (oh the colours it has been. great ones. bad ones. everything in between) she has a sense of colour i’ve never known anyone to have, and a sense of what will suit someone that is 100% on target every time. she also loves star trek.
and alex made CAKE!!!!!! it had berries in it. and we had it with buttermilk lemon icecream which is the best icecream and also home made. HIGH FAT HIGH PROTEIN. kerpow.
am now prepping for the three days of hell, so might not be around much. mmmmm. helldays. delicious. or … more likely… really not delicious, and slightly hyped up on steroids the whole time, and sedated by chemo the rest.